Premiered by Nörrköping Symphony Orchestra, conductor Mikael Bartosch
recieved the Little Christ Johnson Prize by The Royal Swedish Academy of Music 2023 and finalist in composition competition "Pauline Hall Competition" with Bergen Philharmonic Orchestra and conductor Edward Gardner 2020
The piece will be performed again by the Bergen Philharmonic Orchestra and conductor Edward Gardner
on Feb 21 and 22 with music by Beethoven and Carl Nielsen and pianist Leif Ove Andsnes.
The tactile experience in existence was greater than ever when I became a mother, and the most important thing in my life was now my son, not being a composer. It became a profound bodily experience and a kind of euphoria, the best way to let go of one's ego.
While he slept, I plucked at my cello, which I had bought for myself as a gift for successfully pushing out a child. I moved between the instrument and the desk, shaping textures and sounds with the orchestra's instruments, homemade percussion instruments, and the musicians' voices.
Time became limited, and my decisions needed to be quicker. I sought the gritty and strong, the fragile that's on the verge of breaking, and the overwhelming.
A C major is broken down into tiny pieces until they just become noise. The noise has clear directions and moves in different layers and intensities.
I once again looked for physicality, wanting to notate the music in a way that required the musicians to work bodily, using, in some parts, graphic notation to specifically demonstrate the physicality in music.
Full recording from the premier:
Excerpt from the score, various pages: